From the Outside In ...

Well we have all heard the saying ... "From the Inside Out ..."

This post is just to say ... I have not had a lot of success working on me from the inside out because since I have had such a hard time with self-esteem, or liking self ... then it is hard to feel good enough inside to like me outside either.

However, some of you don't know that I was diagnosed with the dreaded diabetes in February of 2007. When that happened I took the meds, but ended up mad because the meds & changes I tried to make didn't work. The number just wouldn't go down much. So I got mad & quit trying. I went back to eating what I want to ... which is a lot of what I don't need to (potatoes & bread).

Then my sugar levels really got high. So ... as of this February ... I am SERIOUSLY trying to make some changes, and a couple weeks ago I got a PLESANT surprize at the doctor. The dreaded scale (I only weigh at the doctor - don't like to live my life by that number) ... I was telling the nurse what I weighed (where to start measuring) ... but that I was trying to make changes & as I was saying that she kept backing up & backing up. I finally said "WHAT IS IT?" ... she told me & I had lost 16 lbs. since February!!!

That is PROOF that I have made better decisions ... and I am making changes.

You got to understand ... I have fluctuated 2 lbs. up or down from my weight for a long time. I have never been off that weight in years. The new number ... well let's just say it has been about 6 or 8 yrs. since I weighed it.

So ... that is helping me inside a lot. It is proof to myself (& others) that I can do it & that I AM DOING it ... making better decisions & changes like I said I was!!

In a year from now ... I have a goal that I intend to have reached or be near! So in this case I am changing the outside ... and that in turn will go a long way for me inside ... I believe that it will.

On a mission ...
Jenn H.

Fatih Equals Self-Esteem

Well ... bloggers, I see how hard it is to blog everyday. No. 1, I don't have enough important information to share. No. 2, I am not getting any participation.

Anyhow ... today I want to discuss the concept of faith (in God) and self-esteem.

I have always struggled with a LACK of confidence in myself. I never think much of myself. I have always felt I was commanded by God to not think too highly of myself, and maybe I have gone the extreme other way.

A friend said to me the other day that "... if I lacked good self-esteem, then I lacked faith." I said "Faith in what?" She said ... "Faith in God."

I know there is that passage (in Philippians, I think) that talks about God CHOOSING us as His children. That has been a case, I suppose, to prove that we should feel good about ourselves. I just never have been able to feel good enough about myself.

So ... if my self-esteem is low ... does that mean I don't really believe in God, or have real faith?

Well, friends, please chime in & help me out. Where do I go from here? How do I fix this?


Seeking Help!
Jenn H.